I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
