I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he thought i was a dude.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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