I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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