she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
