Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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