somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Randomize
