Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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