addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
