dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
