I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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