i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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