She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
