It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
