I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
