Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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