Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize