He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
she peed on how many people?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
