remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
