i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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