He is an equal opportunity slut.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
