that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
