dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize