she looked like the bat from fern gully.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
