We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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