just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
