ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
