I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
