It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
