why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
