Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize