Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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