does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
