..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
