Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
