i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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