bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
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