there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
