There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Houston, we have a squirter
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
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