I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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