Sry I called you an 8
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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