I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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