The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
