I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
