so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
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