halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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