So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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