It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
