CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
