Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize