Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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