too bad you live with your parents still
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize