Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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