their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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