Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
