Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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