vagina is talking i cant
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
