i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
