Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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