I want to walk on stilts...naked
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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