Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
