Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
