It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize