okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
