We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
