sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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