Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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