so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
