is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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