At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
