I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
