Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
