Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You've changed since you got that strap on
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
