Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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