I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize