It's just like the Real World with babies
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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