The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
