I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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